Snow Snakes

My dad is a one-of-a-kind! He has a sense of humor that puts a smile on my face. I remember quite a few years ago, my mom had gone away for the weekend and my dad decided he was going to take me on a father/daughter date. It is an evening I won't forget. He took me to see the movie "Life is Beautiful". We hadn't heard much about it and it was showing in this rickety old theater that showed only one movie. And it was a forgein film!...we had no idea we would be reading words at the bottom of the screen. We hunkered down in our seats and before long we were engrossed in the movie, not caring a bit that we had to read the words. But we were both intently aware the gentleman seated behind us was quite engrossed with the movie as well and he was a boisterous fellow...laughing at just about anything and we soon found ourselves laughing at the movie, but also laughing due to the infectious nature of the gentleman's laugh behind us. We walked out afterwards with quite a smile on our faces and it has become a moment we revisit on occasion and often end up laughing again about the whole thing. After the movie he took me to Carlos and Charlies for dinner. What a great evening with my dad!

That said my dad just makes me shake my head sometimes. He comes up with the most ridiculous things to say. Most of his employee's find themselves with some nickname my dad has invented for them. So, as stated in my previous blog, I lovingly slapped "Papa Smurf" to his name and low and behold, it has stuck for once! Papa Smurf kept us well entertained throughout the week, but his most impressive story was the one about snow snakes. Who knows where he thinks up these things, but he comes up with some very interesting tales! In my attempts not to offend him by botching up the story, I kindly requested that he send me a blurb about snow snakes. The following words are not mine, they are his and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I can't wait for the day that my nephew and nieces are old enough to hear this tale...and Papa Smurf will make sure they hear it...no doubt about that!

"Get this, have you guys heard about snow snakes?"

"Snow snakes, Dad? Really...there are NO snow snakes!"

"No, there are. Yeah! They are white and they have pink eyes. Yeah, those red eyed ones are no good. But the pink eyed snow snakes are considered a delicacy in California. Yep, the movie stars believe their eyes are an aphrodisiac."

"Oh come on, Dad! There is no such thing as a snow snake, least of all one that has pink eyes!"

"No, really, it's true. There is a host of medicinal qualities in the meat - very meaty these guys are - very meaty. When you ship them be sure to pack them on ice well, because you need to maintain good skin quality. The skin is believed to be very good for the complexion - it's full of Estamerfins. That’s a technical medical term you may not be aware of. When the snake is carefully skinned out you lay the skin over your eyes and you will experience immediate relief from migraines. (Be sure to cut holes in to see out of a little, like the lone ranger)"

"Snow snakes don’t have a backbone it’s all meat-very meaty. The meat is very high in Termactin (again a medical term beyond your understanding) is considered by experts to be the best ingredient of our time to fight against childhood obesity. The urine bladder (you need to save it intact) is excellent to fight athletes foot. The gal bladder (it’s a big one) is used for seasoning exquisite dishes from the very tip of South America."

"The excrement (turds in layman's terms) become very hard and shiny. They are very colorful and the Indians make the most beautiful necklaces out of them - ship em all over the world they do. Experts from many top dog universities believe we have only begun to scratch the surface in the true value of these incredible creatures."

"Look, over there I bet there is a colony of them! You know there is only a short time when you can harvest them and they only come out at night. You will need an antaphipler light that will make their pink eyes turn green. The red eyed ones will show up black. You can purchase the antaphipler on line from the manufacture in France. I can forward his website if you need it. Please pardon all the technical terms, because of the complexity of this beautiful creature it’s very hard to bring it down to layman's terms. There is so much more to share but I fear I am overwhelming you with so many details."

"Yes Dad, please don't bore us with ANY more details...please...spare us all!!!"

Quite the story, isn't it?!? Gotta love Papa Smurf! "You don't have to be crazy to be part of this family, but it sure does help!"

This picture doesn't have anything to do with snow snakes, but I liked this picture because of Papa Smurfs hands. He has "fat" hands with short stubby fingers, which make it hard for him to type, so the size of this story was just as impressive as the tale itself. But I do love those hands! His hands are always warm and they've held me many times throughout my life...the last time I felt those hands wrapped around me I was sobbing tears of sadness for those I now miss dearly but they also brought joy in knowing there is much love in those hands and I have been blessed. I do love Papa Smurf and all his wild tales!!! Thanks for the laughs and the love, Papa Smurf!