Update

Since our announcement 2 weeks ago, we have been flooded with more encouragement and love than we ever dreamed possible.  The overwhelming support from those around us has been such a blessing and has greatly helped the pre-child jitters we are definitely experiencing.

I thought that I should send out an update as I know a lot are curious as to where things are at by now.  We continue to wait for clearances with our foster approval.  One final step before we get the official OK.  We had to obtain clearances from every state we lived in...of course Montana's was back in a day. Maryland hasn't been so swift.  I have no idea at this point what kind of time frame we are looking at once this happens.  I do plan to take some time off of work to help with the transition.

OK so my blog has always been a sounding board for me and I figure why stop now.  You get the nitty gritty raw me that some don't always see.  While we are excited and thrilled about the boys coming into our home, I continue to battle with the immense fear and apprehension about this hugely life changing event.  And then to wrap my head around the fact that we will be parents...PARENTS!?!  I word I never truly associated with our world.  It seems bizarre and so unlike us.  I mean, come on, parenting just didn't seem in the cards for us!  And now we've elevated that from nothing to 3.  My poor heart is having quite the emotional battle; weekly, daily, hourly, minute by minute I battle with feeling as though we aren't ready or even if have what it takes to be parents.

I've been told quite often lately that every parent feels that way.  Guess I just never imagined us being lumped in with the parenting crowd.  We've gone from 11 years of me and him, through thick and thin, the good and bad and even ugly, but it's remained just us...and the tumbleweeds...now we are expanding on that.  One day my house will be quiet and we will go to bed as just a family of 2 and the next day we'll welcome in 3 and go to bed as a family of 5!!  How do people do this??  How do you prepare for this??  I'm so afraid I'll be miserable.  I fear I'll look back and just want my quiet days back.  I know that it will make for days like that...every parent experiences days like that.  But my fear is that every day will be like that.  I don't know what to expect.  I don't even know how to feel.  The gamete of emotions we've experienced in the last month alone have been exhausting!!

Well I guess it's like marriage, for better or for worse we are on this journey together and I'm anxious to see how my feelings, emotions, and blog posts will be after a year.  I know we will mess up and we'll make horrible mistakes as parents, but we desire to be good parents for these boys and to make their lives better.  How I hope we can be good parents.  For now we are resting in God's perfect timing and absolutely soaking up every quiet, independent moment we have together and enjoying the calm before the storm.  Ah, what a storm it will be but ya know I've always enjoyed a good thunderstorm...so bring it on!

Thank you for all the support, advice, love, donations, and the continued encouragement!!!  Thank you just doesn't seem like enough for the way in which so many have blessed our lives.  The excitement from everyone has been so helpful in keeping us from drowning in the apprehension of it all.  Those who already believe in us as parents, I can't thank you enough!!  We could never do it without the army of people standing behind us and cheering us on.  We pray you too may be blessed for the kindness and love you've showered on us.

THANK YOU!!