Today ended a 3 day marriage conference Jamie and I attended and for a change I'm almost at a loss for words...I know, shocking! Maybe it's more that I just don't know where to begin. We were challenged, stretched, and encouraged through the words of couples who, like us, have a less than perfect marriage. But through their struggles and mistakes and through God's grace they stood in front of us and encouraged and provided us with tools to, "make it work" (that's for all my Project Runway peeps). We have been given a beautiful opportunity through this conference...the opportunity to connect once again, to remember the love our marriage began on, and to move forward toward a God-centered oneness that before this weekend was headed in the opposite direction. Sometimes you don't know what you're lacking until you see what you could have. When wanting and coveting what others have involves a move towards God, it's never a sin, but our Father above changing your heart and moving within your life.
So many couples throw in the towel because they lose sight of the love and commitment that brought them together. I've harbored so much bitterness, anger, and frustration towards my husband, selfishly forgetting that he is NOT the enemy...yet he is a gift from God! After God, Jamie is to be #1 in my life. He is a gift to be respected, cherished, and loved...he deserves my love whether or not he takes out the trash or does the dishes. Respect is a CHOICE to receive your husband in spite of his weaknesses. And communicating this respect involves my attitude, my words, and my actions. Most importantly I am called to pursue a relationship with God; to trust Him and follow His plan, even though a positive response from my husband is not guaranteed. I'm called to be his helper out of love, not because it's something I have to do.
"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate but through being the right mate." ~ Barnett R. Brickner
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal." ~ Albert Pine
Before starting our very last session today, Jamie stole my book and I was ready to stop him from "marking up" the pages in my book and he looked at me and said, "I just wanted to write you a note." And this is what I got. My heart soared! God truly blessed me with the gift of my husband 7 years ago and sadly I'll admit that lately I've felt marriage has been more of a burden than a blessing. I felt isolated, frustrated, and bored with my marriage. But my husband wasn't the one who brought about these feelings, I was. I created the wedge between us by denying God the opportunity to work in and through my life. I selfishly pushed God and Jamie aside, thinking that I could handle life and it's troubles on my own. But I can't! Life is too big to do without God...without Him, the darkness and pain only make you bitter and angry! If we allow ourselves to believe in His plan, to have the faith and courage to follow His direction and leading, He promises that no matter what He will always be there and He will ALWAYS provide. And 7 years ago he provided me with the greatest gift...Jamie...my earthly example of God's heavenly love.
Our last session ended today around noon and we had already planned to stay an extra day and we are both thankful for the mini vacation. We decided since we don't travel to Connecticut that often we'd check out the local sights. We aren't far from the city of Hartford, so we thought we'd check it out. Not much was open for business, but it was a beautiful fall day and we both just enjoyed walking around the city, taking in the beautiful old buildings and sights.
With no real direction in mind, we found ourselves walking around a huge park, past fountains, unique trees, and full of history. I'm not sure what this fountain represented, but it was a neat fountain regardless. There were several Native American statues situated around the fountain and at the top.
This is NOT a statue...but he sure was the best looking thing in the park today!
The colors of the leaves changing against the blue, slightly overcast sky is one of my favorite parts of fall. The architecture of many of the buildings around Hartford is simply amazing. Jamie put it well when he said it's quite amazing to think of what was built so many years ago with the limited resources they had at that time. The picture below isn't anything special but I was really excited to stand in the middle of the street to take that picture...it wasn't nearly as exciting as it could be if it was a busy street in NYC.
The picture below is by far my favorite...it reminds me of the beauty of creation and the change in seasons. And that like this leaf dancing in the wind, my marriage is also a dance, my partner a gift, and I am only called to one task, trust the Choreographer. In completely giving our lives to the Him we are given the incredible opportunity to share in the oneness and joy of the dance, designed specifically for Me and Him and created to provide a lasting legacy for His glory.
"There is an appointed time for everything.
And there is a time for every event under heaven -
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance."
~Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4~
Trust in God...and dance your heart out!
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